just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
