She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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