The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
