i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
