My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
