I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
