I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
