Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
vagina is talking i cant
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
