I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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