Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
