their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
