At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
