can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
