In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
