I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
