She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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