My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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