69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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