Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
