Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
