I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
