I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
