I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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