I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
