they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize