Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
