HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I die, sorry about rent.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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