Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
