and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
