turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
