Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
