Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
