why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
