"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
