Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
