I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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