There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
