How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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