I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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