mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
