I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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