You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sex in a hospital.. check
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
