You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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