I need to stop coming to work sober
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
