I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
