And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
