guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
