sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
