He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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