Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
