I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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